[Dynagroove] wicked

[Zack Hill]

 taken from djjeno.com as posted by dj jeno.



: Best times of my life. 

: So a few peeps are obviously curious about WHY we called it a day... 

: And seeing as Wicked is now defunkt, I see no reason to keep my feelings
to myself... 

: At the same time though these are my feelings and mine alone, so are
inevitably going to differ from the rest of the crew's. Just trust me when I
say I am not trying to stir anything up. I seek only to clarify, understand
and share, so please resist any temptation to add unnecessary speculation to
my comments. Please BE RESPECTFUL, and if you have a question, just ask. I
may or may not be able to answer, but I will at least consider it... 

: So - 

: The catalyst that finally brought about the meltdown of Wicked was
personal issues between members of the crew. As it often the way. When
you've know people for a long time, it's easy to forget why you've been
friends so long and instead focus on their faults, the things about them
that irritate you, bug you. In fact as wise people will tell you it's easy
to judge others for the very things you are afraid of dealing with in
yourself. Personally I can say that that's not where I'm coming from, as I
let go of my issues with the other members of the crew long ago. They on the
other hand have been less willing to do so. I would love to be able to heal
the rift, but I've tried and cannot. I've done what I can, and that's all I
can do. They will have to stew in their own juice, until the day comes they
are willing to step up, and deal. 

: Still, the root of the problem is/was not the personal issues, not in my
opinion. For everything we are and were, we still never came close to
realising our full potential. We let many opportunities pass us by, and let
many plans sit on the backburner for way too long. We talked alot about
doing new stuff, starting new projects, breaking new ground, but in the end
the only thing we seemed able to do together well was throw the parties. No
one of us is to blame, as there is no one to blame, we just weren't
collectively up to the task in the end. That may seem less than glorious but
the fact that we achieved more in the time we were together than most people
achieve in a lifetime is a testament to the magick we created between us. It
still exists, that magick, it will not disappear simply because we don't
throw the parties anymore, it will continue to ebb, and flow and burst forth
when and how it sees fit - in our solo endevours, and no doubt during the
moments we do find ourselves back together involved in some project or
other. 

: When we started Wicked, it was very much an expression of our hopes, our
dreams, and as we had little to lose we put it all on the line to achieve
what we wanted. As time passed and our dreams began to become real, to be
manifested, we found we now had things we would lose if we stopped, we now
had expectations, and we had set standards we had to live up to. All those
things became weights around our necks, and I feel we were sunk by our own
inability to unshackle ourselves from them. In many ways we should have
stopped doing Wicked when Al and Trish left, as without them we had no extra
members of the crew to take care of such necessary concerns, to be the
navigators of the ship as it were, to guide us through troubled waters, to
bring together all our collective ideas, and just as importantly ease the
friction between us. Truth is we were rudderless for years. That's not to
say we didn't attempt to move forward, but often we'd get frustrated with
our direction, as all of us attempted to steer at once (or none of us) and
then when we realised we were going round in circles, we'd instead put our
energies into our own individual projects and goals. That is not a bad
thing, no, we have a great deal of talent, and potential as individuals, so
it made sense to push forward on our own. There were also times to where one
of us would take control, and we'd move in a new direction, achieve new
things, but all too often the other members of the crew would come looking
for their piece of the pie, to take from the collective whole, without
giving back. Me too at times. That's why I personally lost interest in being
the navigator a long time ago. It was dis-heartening to see everyone
scrambling to divide up the "booty" from our achievements, instead of
wanting to re-invest in our future. We shot ourselves in the foot by not
doing so, as we have had so many good ideas in the last few years, but no
resources to invest in them. 

: Well, we have our own solo projects to focus on now, and I see them all
leading to great things, as we are all older, wiser and more capable than
we've ever been. Especially if we learn the lessons from what happened with
Wicked. For me the lesson has been about holding onto, when I should have
let go. Now I've let go, I feel at more at peace, and should Wicked
reconstruct itself somewhere down the line, it will be for I believe all the
right reasons.. 

: I loved the focus in the early days of Wicked on the pagan aspects of
life. The natural cycles of the full moons, being out in nature, on the
beach, free, alive, unbridled, wild and spontaneous. There is no club, party
or other sound system that has ever achieved anything close to that, and
neither have we for a while, so I will continue to search for and find that
in other areas of my life, and hope the rest of the crew do aswell, and
perhaps that is where we will again find our common ground. Who knows...