[Dynagroove] Solid Affirmation.

[patrick waechter]

Hi,

I'm just making my way home from my late evening with Solid Gold. A much 
needed medicinal shakedown for moi, maybe a bit more addictive than the 
Dimetapp years of seven to eight. Not really able to contemplate sleep at 
this moment, a bit withdrawn from the dancefloor, I decided to record my 
pertinent thoughts to the email list-- something I haven't really done in a 
long time, here at 6:18am.

I haven't really been out a lot in the last couple of years. Anyone who 
knows me out there might recognize the stale chip I wore on my shoulder for 
so long more than my face or name. Some intense emotional events stormed 
through a couple of years back, and I went into a jaded shell. I was afraid 
to be happy, afraid to be close to anyone, afraid to be in love. Here I was, 
this crazy fun-loving guy who enjoyed going out for a good party no less 
than the next, thrown for an emotional loop he didn't know how to process.

I found myself sort of scared, or like-- I don't really know how to describe 
it-- I would just freak out when I went out, if I was around a crowd of 
people, with this hyper-nervous reaction. I was in love with someone who was 
in love with me and who was also in love with house music. I felt so 
frustrated that I couldn't open up to this person, that I couldn't open back 
up to the music-- to going out and dancing and enjoying the same things I 
used to enjoy-- just because of this... emotional... chip. I could be quoted 
as telling this person I loved that the music he listened to, namely house, 
nauseated me; I think it actually did, mostly because of my issues. I didn't 
know how to handle it all, so-- I was an asshole.

Perhaps too much information, but I have a point.

About four months ago, I had some realizations about the cycles I was 
perpetuating in my life. I decided to let it all go, to learn to love life 
again, to dance again, to love... again. I started opening back up to the 
music, and rediscovering the dancefloor as an outlet for all that's pent up. 
Its been an intense emotional journey, and just like I didn't understand 
what I was going through for the last two years, no one in my life did 
either. Over the last few months, in recognition of my former declaration of 
house as a nauseating genre, my comrade accused my efforts of being 
ingenuine, probably noting the same times that I found myself feeling 
awkward. But now I just realize why its been so awkward. Any new or even 
renewed love is. Because just like I'm falling in love all over again with 
this person who was front and center for so long, I find myself falling back 
in love with the club.

And tonight, Solid Gold, it was awesome. I've been asked to go for two years 
previous, and declined invitations in true uptight fashion; tonight, I made 
my way solo on the recommendation that this is an "until the very end" kind 
of annual event, and such is when I found myself shaking until. Its nice to 
see a little chunk of the house world let their hair down a bit, and forget 
who is watching. Shit, I'm sure this might settle an unofficial bet-- but I 
even heard some Daft Punk that sent some like no one's watching through all 
the important places.

Oh. And... I don't really want to start any drama, or to make anyone 
jealous. I don't really want to infringe on anyone's (wo)man or be on 
anyone's turf. But I think I have to tell you something... After tonight,

I think I'm falling in love with you, house. Thanks for a great night. I'll 
call you later this week to see what you're up to.

--P+sw

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