[Dynagroove] top 11 things I hate about house the scene

[Cade]

thought I would start some shit.  Here are the top 11 things I hate about 
the house music scene......  This is supposed to be funny so relax

Number 11:  All the girls go crazy for any vocal.  I like a vocal.. But I
like some chunky funky shit.  But every house girl seems to drop her
panties for the all vocal set or the all vocal DJ.  So annoying.. The music
does not need a vocal.. Sometimes it is good.  But it is the whole package
that makes us dance right?  Sometimes I think of the sample or the
instrument as a vocal.  Don't believe me?  Look at how many vocals Heather, 
Mark Farina, and Diz play.. Not that many.... Besides it is easy to bust out 
the all vocal set.

Number 10:  Everyone is a DJ.   No matter what party you go to 40% of the crowd 
is a DJ and they have no problems telling you over and over again. Often times 
lying about where they are from and who they have played for and with.

Number 9:  Everyone is a promoter.  Every night someone walks up to me and 
tells me how they are going to do this party and how they have the hook up for 
Derrick Carter.  Oh and they want me to play along with <list 15 other locals 
here>

Number 8:  Classic songs that even sucked back then.  It sucked back then it 
sucks now.  retire that record...  retire it...  Good examples "Funk Phenomena" 
and "Ex.... Ex..... Ex... Travaganza"

Number 7: Songs that sing about "house music."  In the beggining there was 
jack..  And I could give jack shit.  and I could care less if not everyone 
understood house music or house music will never dye.. or if that girl is going 
to house me.  I thought it was annoying when the rocks bands sang about Rock 
and Roll...  Now it is just as annoying when sum unknown deevah screams about 
house music.

Number 6:  Worshiping a bad dj just because he made a hit or two back in the 
day.   I mean come on he was make sick shit in 88 - 95 now he just does not 
have it anymore.  Maybe he found god maybe he does not enjoy his job anymore (A 
wicked famous SF DJ) but the guy just plane sucks now.  But noooo we have to 
clap even louder for his train-wrecks and technically ill mixing..

Number 5:  People who thin I get rich of my parties.  I mean come on do you 
have any idea how much it costs to throw a party?  And I am bring two out of 
town guests in and you think $20 is absurd?  Hell I know local only line ups 
that you fewl are happy to pay $30 for.  I think on average after all my 
parties I maybe be maybe 8% profit.  You think I am greedy?  You throw a party 
and learn your lessons *wink*

Number 4:  The people who stand around the dance floor with their beer in there 
hand sneering.  I am sorry did mommy make you come out tonight?  Are you hating 
life?  House music is a dance music.  Move dat as fucker.  Stop leering, stop 
lurking, and remember how to have a good time.  Stop trainspotting and remember 
to have fun.  You can still look at the girls even when you are dancing.

Number 3:  Girl DJs that get booked on their looks rather then talent. They say 
you got it you mind as well use it.  I can't fault them for doing it.  But it 
annoys me anyway.   Honey you suck!  Your only getting booked because of two 
reasons A)  The promoter is or wants to hump you or B) The promoter wants the 
guys in the crowd to want to hump you.  Learn how to match a beat and pull a 
record your boyfriend didn't choose for you.

Number 2:  DJs that need to announce to you that they can "rock the crowd" 
better then the current DJ.  So there I am at my club.  I have booked some 
pretty decent local talent and I am enjoying their music.  Some fucking 
numbskull from some crew then says "Yo man why are you booking these guys?  We 
can rock the crowd much better then them."  Uhh A) No you can't and B) Get your 
rude ass self out of my face.

And the NUMBER 1 thing I hate about the house scene!!!!!!!!


NUMBER 1:  DJS that play the same set over and over again.  A DJ hands me a CD 
and two weeks later I hear him playing the same shit out.  A year later I hear 
him play a large chunk of it again.  WTF?  Do you have no innovation? Your the 
same guy who writes down on a piece of paper the pitch setting for you planned 
set.  Yeah I know who you guys are I spot you from a mile away.  Having 
problems following another DJ?  Have to bring the pitch up or down so you are 
in your comfort zone?  HA!  You not a DJ your a walking CD player.   Stop 
planning your sets and get out there and feel the crowd.



Oh man that was fun..  And yes it is supposed to be funny.. So enjoy it and 
don't get mad or I will have to ad a number 12: House heads are too damn 
serious!  *wink*

Cade