[Dynagroove] top 11 things I hate about house the scene

[Amy Blakemore]

Number 3:  Girl DJs that get booked on their looks rather then talent.

I totally agree with this one.  If you look like a Club Rubber dancer and 
wear a mini skirt and a bra, all you need to do is mix for 8 beats at the 
end of each long anthem you play and you're set!  Hey, they can even use 
your picture on the cover of the flyer!  "Fuck the music, come to our club 
and drool over DJ Funky Slut!"



----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Cade" <con at dynagroove.com>
To: <dynagroove at dynagroove.com>
Sent: Friday, May 27, 2005 4:27 PM
Subject: [Dynagroove] top 11 things I hate about house the scene


> thought I would start some shit.  Here are the top 11 things I hate about 
> the house music scene......  This is supposed to be funny so relax
>
> Number 11:  All the girls go crazy for any vocal.  I like a vocal.. But I
> like some chunky funky shit.  But every house girl seems to drop her
> panties for the all vocal set or the all vocal DJ.  So annoying.. The 
> music
> does not need a vocal.. Sometimes it is good.  But it is the whole package
> that makes us dance right?  Sometimes I think of the sample or the
> instrument as a vocal.  Don't believe me?  Look at how many vocals 
> Heather, Mark Farina, and Diz play.. Not that many.... Besides it is easy 
> to bust out the all vocal set.
>
> Number 10:  Everyone is a DJ.   No matter what party you go to 40% of the 
> crowd is a DJ and they have no problems telling you over and over again. 
> Often times lying about where they are from and who they have played for 
> and with.
>
> Number 9:  Everyone is a promoter.  Every night someone walks up to me and 
> tells me how they are going to do this party and how they have the hook up 
> for Derrick Carter.  Oh and they want me to play along with <list 15 other 
> locals here>
>
> Number 8:  Classic songs that even sucked back then.  It sucked back then 
> it sucks now.  retire that record...  retire it...  Good examples "Funk 
> Phenomena" and "Ex.... Ex..... Ex... Travaganza"
>
> Number 7: Songs that sing about "house music."  In the beggining there was 
> jack..  And I could give jack shit.  and I could care less if not everyone 
> understood house music or house music will never dye.. or if that girl is 
> going to house me.  I thought it was annoying when the rocks bands sang 
> about Rock and Roll...  Now it is just as annoying when sum unknown deevah 
> screams about house music.
>
> Number 6:  Worshiping a bad dj just because he made a hit or two back in 
> the day.   I mean come on he was make sick shit in 88 - 95 now he just 
> does not have it anymore.  Maybe he found god maybe he does not enjoy his 
> job anymore (A wicked famous SF DJ) but the guy just plane sucks now.  But 
> noooo we have to clap even louder for his train-wrecks and technically ill 
> mixing..
>
> Number 5:  People who thin I get rich of my parties.  I mean come on do 
> you have any idea how much it costs to throw a party?  And I am bring two 
> out of town guests in and you think $20 is absurd?  Hell I know local only 
> line ups that you fewl are happy to pay $30 for.  I think on average after 
> all my parties I maybe be maybe 8% profit.  You think I am greedy?  You 
> throw a party and learn your lessons *wink*
>
> Number 4:  The people who stand around the dance floor with their beer in 
> there hand sneering.  I am sorry did mommy make you come out tonight?  Are 
> you hating life?  House music is a dance music.  Move dat as fucker.  Stop 
> leering, stop lurking, and remember how to have a good time.  Stop 
> trainspotting and remember to have fun.  You can still look at the girls 
> even when you are dancing.
>
> Number 3:  Girl DJs that get booked on their looks rather then talent. 
> They say you got it you mind as well use it.  I can't fault them for doing 
> it.  But it annoys me anyway.   Honey you suck!  Your only getting booked 
> because of two reasons A)  The promoter is or wants to hump you or B) The 
> promoter wants the guys in the crowd to want to hump you.  Learn how to 
> match a beat and pull a record your boyfriend didn't choose for you.
>
> Number 2:  DJs that need to announce to you that they can "rock the crowd" 
> better then the current DJ.  So there I am at my club.  I have booked some 
> pretty decent local talent and I am enjoying their music.  Some fucking 
> numbskull from some crew then says "Yo man why are you booking these guys? 
> We can rock the crowd much better then them."  Uhh A) No you can't and B) 
> Get your rude ass self out of my face.
>
> And the NUMBER 1 thing I hate about the house scene!!!!!!!!
>
>
> NUMBER 1:  DJS that play the same set over and over again.  A DJ hands me 
> a CD and two weeks later I hear him playing the same shit out.  A year 
> later I hear him play a large chunk of it again.  WTF?  Do you have no 
> innovation? Your the same guy who writes down on a piece of paper the 
> pitch setting for you planned set.  Yeah I know who you guys are I spot 
> you from a mile away.  Having problems following another DJ?  Have to 
> bring the pitch up or down so you are in your comfort zone?  HA!  You not 
> a DJ your a walking CD player.   Stop planning your sets and get out there 
> and feel the crowd.
>
>
>
> Oh man that was fun..  And yes it is supposed to be funny.. So enjoy it 
> and don't get mad or I will have to ad a number 12: House heads are too 
> damn serious!  *wink*
>
> Cade
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