[Groop]Gak! (off-Topic)

Gary Grossmann grossfam@olywa.net
Sat, 4 Aug 2001 20:41:15 -0700


And again I say "Gak!"

I'm the father of a married man and I have a daughter-in-law.   Which just
goes to show you that even if you read Groo to your kids when they are young
they can still grow up, get a college degree, find a job, and get married.
For some reason I was not allowed to wear one of my Groo shirts or Did I
Err? shirts under my tuxedo jacket.  Heck, you would have hardly been able
to see it!  Son #2 was the best man and everything went off without a hitch
in very UN-Groo like fashion(!!!!)

Our main concern, of course, was that something might get started between my
various relatives that would require sending in peace keeping troops.  As
you may recall from previous off-topic posts, my wife's side of the family
is like something off the Jerry Springer show, or perhaps a particularly
tacky episode of Oprah.  Fortunately, one sister-in-law is still not allowed
to leave Arkansas unless she wants bounty hunters on her trail, and her
immediate family stayed there with her.  The daughter of my other
sister-in-law had just been released from the psyche ward of the local
hospital, so she was a little subdued and her Mom was preoccupied taking
care of her daughter's young child.  Her son and his girl friend were
similarly preoccupied with their small child and he had to leave the
reception early to get back to his job at McDonalds.

No, the big concern this time was from MY side of the family.  My younger
brother and his long-time boyfriend had a falling out with my younger sister
not long ago and they hadn't spoken again before the wedding.  My brother is
a speech therapist for a local school district who repeats in a whisper the
last phrase he just spoke. (last phrase he just spoke.) You kind of get used
to it after a while (after a while) But I find it a rather ironic
eccentricity or whatever, since he is a speech therapist. (is a speech
therapist.)  I'm a little ticked off at him for the situation with my sister
since she suffers from clinical depression and would be in big, big trouble
without her medication, and sometimes has trouble even with it.  And then
there is my older sister, who manages to keep her avaricious and
manipulative behavior covered up pretty well most of the time, at least when
she is around me, but who has, at times, almost literally driven my kid
sister crazy.  But these days she usually let's her holier-than-thou &
smarter-than-thou husband take care of that and their arrogant 14 year-old
boy is a chip off the old block(head).  These guys and my kid brother
haven't spoken to each other in years because they believe his relationship
with his boy friend is "an abomination" or some such and my kid brother's
response to that is, understandably, ..well, in deference to Eric, let's
just say it's two words and rhymes with truck blue. (Fortunately, my
estranged-from-everyone older brother didn't make a surprise appearance.)

Ah, but there is nothing like a wedding to bring everyone together.  (Or at
least force them to behave themselves despite themselves.)  I'll never
forget when my brother-in-law got married and Thad, my father-in-law, and
Wanda, my mother-in-law, were in the same building for the first time since
Wanda had threatened with a butcher knife the tootsie who Thad was running
around with while still married to Wanda.  And Thad brought the tootsie to
the wedding!!  (By that time He & Wanda were divorced and he had married the
tootsie.)

But I digress.

So whether it was because they decided to put all of their "issues" aside to
bask in the joy of two wonderful young people starting what I have no doubt
will be a long and happy life together OR because they knew in their heart
of hearts that if they did ANYTHING to taint this event I would finally snap
and commit quick and ruthless fratricide, everyone behaved and it was a
glorious, glorious day!!!

Take care all -Gary "Now you know why I'm considered the 'normal' one in the
family" Grossmann