[Groop]Larry's REAL Con Report...

Larry Steller lawrencesteller@yahoo.com
Mon, 12 Aug 2002 22:54:57 -0700 (PDT)


Larry's REAL Con Report...

...a tale of Friendship, Edible Mulch and GROOmpah-Loompahs, in
which Our Mendicant Larry types way too many words but gets most
of them in the right order and manages to sneak in a Grooism or
two...

GrooFest 2002 (AKA San Diego Comic Con International 2002)

This missive couldn't POSSIBLY adequately express how much
funfunfun I had this trip, but I'll try! As previously mentioned
by, oh, EVERYONE who attended, this Con was WAY bigger than
previous years, but because of the additions to the Convention
Center, it never got TOO crowded to bear (but then again, I'm
used to slogging through the streets of Midtown Manhattan to get
to work. Ever try to wade through Holiday Crowds to get to Herald
Square EVERY DAY of the Christmas Season? Oooh, SCARY!)

Somehow, magically, my flights to and from California were cheap,
nonstop and on-time; my rental car was upgraded two levels for no
extra charge, and checking the car in and out was a breeze. My
word, it's Larry's first ever ANTI-GROOISM!!!

I found The MendiCamp (KOA Campground in Chalupa Vista, I mean
Chula Vista) with no problem, and hooked up with Scott Hudlow,
who already had his tent up and was ready to crash (close to
midnight). I set up my tent in a jiffy (!!!) and slept like a
baby (only without the crying and wetting). The next morning, I
asked Scott (The Groop's Resident Archaeologist) if the wood
chips our tents were pitched upon technically qualified as MULCH.
They do! So, I can honestly say I spent GrooFest 2002 sleeping on
a bed of Mulch!!!

Thursday Morning bright and early we set out for the con, got a
primo parking space (trade secret), went for breakfast, then
stood on a long, long, long line of others like myself who were
too slow of mind to preregister (while Scott sauntered on
inside...). The line actually moved fairly quickly, so it wasn't
so bad.

First stop, Sergio's Booth. Nope, not here yet. Next stop Stan's
booth (hi Stan!) then onward to Nate's Booth, now where is it?
Got distracted by a few sights, finally figured out the Hall Map
and found I had to pass Sergio's Booth to get to Nate's.

Not only was Sergio there this time, but SOMEONE recognized me
BEFORE I recognized him. Could it be... SPARKY URINETOAST
HIMSELF!??? I always figured I'd instantly recognize Nate when I
first met him, but he beat me to the punch. Said my hullo's all
around, and I believe Kaytee showed up right around then, too.
Hung for a while, then Sergio had to go for a signing and asked
if I'd watch his booth for him!!!

Really!? Way cool!!! I didn't have the paper mustache or Sergio
Mask like Gary usually has, but I had a blast. My ego swelled
knowing that Sergio not only remembered me, but TRUSTED me to
watch over his stuff. Said EGO only finally deflated to normal
proportions a week later, AFTER my first minute back at work, as
the routine emergencies started to pile up...

After my stint as Sergio's Stunt Double, I finally made it to
BLAMBOT and had my first face to face with three of my oldest
friends on the Groo List, Nate, Chett and Shane! (Well, I had met
Nate a couple of hours earlier, but you know what I mean...) As
mentioned in an earlier post, they more than lived up to
expectorations, being totally cool and hoopy froods. 

FINALLY ran into Gary, Becky & Claire Grossmann over at Stan's
booth,  said my hullos and escorted the GrossFamily to Sergio's.
Dinner with Eric, Scott and a cute young couple we bumped into;
Scott and I got a huge kick out of the 22 year old referring to
his 20 year old girlfriend as his "Old Lady." (Snicker) wait
until YOU turn 40, amigo!

Anyway, Fun Was Had that day, on to Friday...

Went to Sergio's booth first, no Sergio. I was supposed to watch
his booth while he was at the MAD panel, but as 11:30 approached,
after checking every 20 minutes or so, still no Sergio! His booth
wasn't setup at 11:30, he wasn't at Dark Horse or the room the
panel was going to be in, so I figured (correctly) that since
Sergio's Booth was totally empty (as in devoid of any stuff
whatsoever) , it didn't need to be watched, and slipped into the
50 YEARS OF MAD PANEL.

Al Feldstein, Frank Jacobs, and the guy who currently does SPY
vs. SPY were there (I'm ashamed I can't remember his name), but
not Sergio. Some very funny stories were told, but most telling
was Al' s comment that it was a shame that, for the 50th
Anniversary of MAD, that more of MAD's Usual Gang of Idiots (past
and present) didn't make it a point to be present. 

45 minutes into the hour-and-a-half panel, Sergio made his grand
entrance, full of apologies. (I believe he overslept)

I wish I thought to transcribe some of what was said. One funny
bit was when Al Feldstein asked Frank Jacobs to tell a particular
anecdote. Frank  thanked him for the intro and paid Al a dollar,
then Sergio snatched the buck and said "you pay me for last
night," upon which Mark snatched the dollar from Sergio and said
"and YOU pay me for GROO!" The timing, as you can imagine, was
pure vaudeville!

2:30 was Scott Shaw!'s Oddball Comics slide show (you guys DO
check him out on a daily basis at
http://www.comicbookresources.com/columns/oddball/ , don't you?)
This year's slideshow had Scott and M.E. interviewing (grilling)
DC Comics Icon Julius Schwartz about the many Oddball Comics that
went out under his editorial guidance, particularly "WHY SO MANY
GORILLA COVERS?"

For those of you unfamiliar with Julie's Law, it is thus: 

Gorillas+Cover = $ALE$

At some point, he noticed weird sales spikes that seemed to
correlate with the appearance of a gorilla on the cover of one of
his books, so being  a bottom-line kind of  a guy, he started
including gorillas on more and more covers. The wackier covers
definitely sold more, so they often came up with a wild cover
first, then built a story around it! Eventually other editors
caught on, to the point that DC actually had to stop the madness,
limiting themselves to ONLY one gorilla cover per month (and
Julie had dibs)!

My favorite slide was the first one:  The Man With Saturn for a
Head (or a similar title). SUCH WONDERFULLY SILLY STUFF!!! There
were Dinosaur Covers, Super-Evolved-Giant-Brain Covers, Gorilla
Covers, FLYING Gorilla Covers, Weird Usages of Planets,
Superheroes Devolved Into Babies Covers - TOO MUCH FUN!!! It
would be hard for me to imagine at this point that this WOULDN'T
have been my VERY favorite panel. But there was SO much more to
come, especially...

THE QUICKDRAW COMPETITION!

Now, for each of the last two Cons plus my only other Sergio Con
in 1994, I acted (alone or with MUCH help)  as a Sergio Wrangler.
Remembering the earlier MAD Panel fiasco, I ran down to wrangle
Sergio and get him to The QuickDraw on time. When Sergio saw me
he quickly took the hint, I helped him pack up the table and
whisked him (or tried to) to the panel. Anyone who has ever
served as Sergio Wrangler knows that getting Sergio moving is
only half the battle; it's KEEPING him moving as he stops to say
hello to this one or that one, plus the odd detour simply for
comedic digression. 

Well, we got there JUST ABOUT on time (certainly earlier than
Mark expected, although the other panelists were all  seated and
raring to go). 

WHAT A DELIGHT! If you've EVER had the privilege of watching
Sergio work, well, multiply that by 100, because the man is at
his best when performing on cue! I could go on about Sergio (and
will), but let me first say that the humorous doodlings of Scott
Shaw! (yes, that's Shaw with an exclamation point, not SHAWL),
Eric Larsen and John Romita, Jr. would have -by themselves-
thoroughly entertained the room with sidesplitting laughter. 
They would all agree that there is NO SLIGHT whatsoever in
observing that Sergio's performance left them pretty much in the
dust. I mean, the man is laughing lightning pen-sonified!!! Quick
of hand, quick of mind, a joy to watch!

The panel was  the sketchpad equivalent of WHO'S LINE IS IT
ANYWAY; like both  TV shows, a major debt of gratitude goes to
the unsung hero of the show,  emcee Mark Evanier, who fed them
all such wonderfully wicked material for their visual routines,
playing well to each's individual talents. Mark, you should host
a Game Show!!! 

One funny bit was when he paired up the two Superhero Artists
(John & Eric) to do a hero together;  first JR jr (I think) had
to draw the feet, then Eric had to do from the knees to the belt,
back to JR jr for the Torso, then Eric for the Head. AWESOME!

Now to the Cartoonists! Scott did knobby-kneed legs and feet, and
Sergio drew the legs going up to a pair of boxer shorts, but with
a pair of arms awkwardly protruding from the bottom of the pant
legs!? So Scott drew the Torso complete with another pair of arms
outstretched from the shoulders!!!??? Sergio finished by drawing
Scott's head atop the Torso, then his own frightened face peering
out from behind the boxers, making the hands protruding from
Scott's boxers his own! I laughed till I was red in the
face!!!!!!!!!   

After the panel, I wandered the con some more, then met up with
Scott H, Gary, Becky, Claire and Charles Klein for our third
Annual Pre-Eisner's dinner at Rick's Last Resort. There we met
Nate, Chett, Shane and Nate's Way-Cool Mom. Rick's has awesome
food, but we're there mainly for the rowdy ambiance, which is
part Frat House, part Yankee Stadium Bleachers. The waiters are
tongue-in-cheek RUDE. 

Need napkins? They'll be delivered by a surly waiter throwing an
entire package in the air over your table. 

Ask for a straw? Expect to get 3 dozen shoved into your soda.  

Tables are encouraged to throw harmless objects such as wadded up
balls of napkins at each other, which we did (boy did we)! Shane
outdid everyone by painstakingly amassing about 40-50 carefully
wadded napkin balls at a time, then loosing them all in one
massive barrage! Charles took a more INSIDIOUS approach, content
to sit there rolling napkin balls and passing them to me - as if
I needed a bad influence like Charles!!! This way, I could talk
myself blue in the face (surprised?) while STILL having plenty of
ammo! Truly a Grooish evening!!! Everyone got into the act, even
the perfectly polite Becky Grossmann lobbed a few, as did Nate's
mom! While Nate was busy on  a couple of sketched for the waiters
(more on that...), Chett held up the Piekos end of the fray with
many well-placed shots! 

Okay, the infamous Piekos Portraits:

The waiter asked if any of us were artists, I missed the answer
but I would imagine that Nate didn't volunteer himself, but
rather fingers were probably pointed his way. (Right? Wrong?) 
Either way, the finger-pointing is funnier so that's how I choose
to remember it! So the waiter asked for a sketch of a hot babe,
and Nate complied with a busty, bare-chested beauty that would
make any St. Pauli Girl feel positively inadequate! To keep this
on-topic, he did a remarkably good Groo ogling either a) her
breasts or b) her beer mug. (Since this is Groo, my money is on
the beer). He signed it something to the effect "The Groop was
here 2002". 

The Grossmann and Piekos clans headed back home, with Gary
promising to meet Charles, Scott and me shortly at the Eisners. 

Rewind two years. Our first GrooFest, our first dinner at Dick's,
followed by our first Eisner Awards. We got to the Hyatt on time,
but as we were going in, I realized I was knee-deep in Grooism as
I had left my knapsack full of Groo (and other) comics at Dick's!
I ran back, realized halfway there I didn't remember where it was
located (I was following everyone else), and zigzagged through
the Gaslamp District until I found it, only to find that someone
else had grabbed my knapsack for me (I forget who) and was
bringing it to the Eisners! So I got to the Eisners late and
retrieved my backpack, which actually made it to the Eisners
before me!!!

Fast forward back to Friday Night, August 2, 2002. Not to be late
again, I left  my bag in Scott's truck. We had JUST enough time
to March over to the Hyatt for the festivities...except...(is
there such a thing as Grooism Music? If so, start playing it in
your head NOW!) ...apparently this year the Eisners was NOT being
held at the Hyatt, but in the new wing of the Convention
Center!!! Oops. DID WE ERR??? So we rushed over to the Con,
hopelessly late, and sheepishly settled into our seats.

Of course, Gary met us way late, too. After all, he went to the
Hyatt first as well!!!

As you may have heard by now, the Eisners could use a bit of
selective streamlining. I don't think it's as much M.E.'s
Ballyhooed AFI (Applause Frequency Index) as the PLQ (Presenter
Lag Quotient). Simply put, they could save a lot of time by
planning out who was taking the stage to present when, and have
the new presenter walk onstage while the previous is walking off,
instead of waiting until the first has completely left the stage
to start walking toward the stage. 

Anyway, I still found the evening fun, if there were some staid
spots. I'll admit that when I heard Sergio was being nominated
for the first time for one of four Hall Of Fame Inductions, I
figured one of the other nominees who had been on the ballot
previous years would get it first, as he was in incredibly good
company. I was delighted to be wrong, and Sergio was inducted
first ballot (and deserving of all the praise  heaped upon him,
too). He was actually SPEECHLESS; when he finally found his
voice, he started with "This-this cannot be!" I understand all of
Mark's points on POV about the general arbitrariness of awards,
but I was still thrilled that Sergio's greatness was being
recognized by his peers in his lifetime (and early in it, to
boot!)

Which brings us to Saturday...

I think.

Here,  first, are couple of anecdotes that I forget where exactly
they fit in the scheme of things. 

If you've heard us talk about Kaytees beadwork, it was just
Beautiful! On display at the Art Exhibit, her entry for this year
was a portrait of the entire classic Groo Crew; Sergio in the
center (with beaded title EMPEROR OF MEXICO) , Mark top right at
his keyboard (WORDWEAVER), Tom Luth top left with an artists
palette (COLORIST), Stan bottom left drawing a Usagi (Scribe) and
bottom right GROO 20 YEARS. An awesome piece of work, Kaytee! 

After I took the pix (I'll post pix hopefully  this weekend, but
maybe next), we passed Stan entering the exhibit area, who was on
his way to see Kaytee's work, so we turned around and went back!
I was hoping to get a pic of Sergio, Kaytee and her beadwork, but
it didn't work out time-wise. SORRY KAYTEE!!!

Another time-lost anecdote is my first Grooism (the second being
getting lost going to the Eisners).

It starts with a bit of serendipity... (here's where things get
all wavy and flashbacky...)

I was hanging at Blambot with Nate & Chett when Mark came by and
bought some of Nate's comic book fonts. After we chatted a little
bit, I asked Mark if there was any time other than a panel he'd
be available to sign a couple of items. I don't like getting
autographs at panels, since it seems like an imposition, and I
don't like bothering people while they are strolling the con, for
the same reason. He asked if I had my stuff with me, I said I
didn't want to bother him while he was enjoying a rare break in
the con, but he said "it's okay, I'll sign." I had him sign the
Groo Life/Death hard-core (I know, kind of pointless since it's
already signed) and my friend Dave M's Pacific and Epic Groo
#1's. (He had already signed my own copies last year).  

So Mark leaves, and I'm standing there with comic books in hand,
when I hear an "OH! I didn't expect to see THAT!" I turned to see
Gordon Kent (Groo's original colorist) staring at the Pacific #1
in my hand. I asked if he ever did commissioned sketches, and he
started to explain that he was only the colorist... I stopped him
and said, oh, I know THAT, I meant a Pink Panther sketch, as my
Dad LOVES Pink Panther! Gordon was flabbergasted. "How did you
know about that, it was supposed to be a secret! (The secret is
out, he's working on a Pink Panther newspaper strip which he's
hoping to sell to the syndicates, what I've seen of it is
awesome, and Gordon PROMISES it will NOT be what ANYONE
expects!!!) 

Before I could tell him, he deduced (correctly) that I read it on
POVonline, and said Mark was a little annoyed at him that he had
to hear about Pink Panther through the grapevine rather than from
Gordon! He then explained that he is the writer,  not the artist,
but that his partner would probably do a sketch. 

(Okay, start that Grooism music again...)

So, since he brought up the subject of Pacific Groo and was
willing to chat, I asked if he could sign them for me. He did,
and I was happy as a clam when he walked away. Have you figured
out yet why this is a Grooism? Well, I was holding my BUDDY's
Groos, not mine, so Gordon signed Dave's comics; mine were hiding
securely in my bag! Now, I don't begrudge my pal the autograph,
even though THE SLIGHTLY-HEATED SWINE wouldn't know Gordon Kent
from Jeffy Keane, but (sniffle)... I WANTED MINE SIGNED!!!
WAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

(sob, snff) 

Anyway, all together now... DID I ERR???

So what are we up to, Saturday, right? 

It was a dark and stormy da- oh wait, this is San Diego. The
weather was gorgeous again, so of course myself and
50,000-100,000  fanboys and fangals spent another delirious day
indoors. 

The Cup O' Joe panel with Joe Quesada was a hoot, the man isn't
afraid to tell it like it is, that's for sure. I thanked him from
the core of my soul for the HEROES tribute book, and said it was
the first time ANYTHING I'd ever read made me cry uncontrollably
like that. I was appalled that someone accused him of
overexploiting 9/11, and his answer (that I wish I could
accurately retell here)  was basically "Do we accuse the creators
of Captain America of exploiting the tragedies of WWII, when the
response to Pearl Harbor was to rally around the flag, which was
reflected strongly in all of our entertainment of that period."
He insisted (and I agree) that the Marvel for-profit patriotic
books are an appropriate response to the mood of the public. 

Anyway, back to Grooishness. 

I had to leave Joe's panel a few minutes early to help Gary sneak
two crates into Comic Con, holding approximately 300 Chocolatey
MULCH BARS baked by Carolyn Kelly (Daughter of Pogo's Walt Kelly
who did her own Pogo strip a few years back) as part of hers and
Gary's conspiracy to kick up Groo's 20th Anniversary Bash notches
unknown! In addition to the Mulch Bars, Gary designed and George
Karalias (I know I'm spelling your name wrong, George) expertly
rendered a huge poster celebrating not just 20 years of Groo, but
Mark's 50th and Sergio's 65th Birthdays!  (You can see the card,
and Kaytees beadwork, at Eric's site
http://www.geocities.com/mightyhero/)

At 3:00 it was M.E.'s amazing CARTOON VOICES panel, starring Bob
Bergen (Porky Pig, Tweety), Greg Burson (Bugs Bunny; heir
apparent to Daws Butler with his next-to-definitive Yogi Bear),
Maurice Lamarche (The Brain but not Pinky) and Gary Owens (if you
don't know who he is me telling you won't make a lick of
difference).  Once again, more  rampant silliness (do you see a
theme to the panels I attend?) and fun inside anecdotes about the
voice biz. 

I had to leave THAT panel early, too (I'm not USUALLY that rude),
so that Gary and I could sneak the 300 mulch bars and the card
into the room while Mark was still occupied with the panel.
Carolyn worried that Mark would notice, and she had a point with
two orange-clad ninjas like ourselves trying to be subtle, but
we're pretty sure Mark was uncharacteristically clueless. 

4:30 Twenty Years of Groo panel.

Damn, where do I start? Can my brain even still process this info
after all of this typing? 

After unloading the mulch (snicker, snicker) Gary and I raced
downstairs to serve as Sergio Wranglers. There we met up with
Steve Kuhn, who helped me close the line of autograph seekers and
direct people to The Panel while Sergio left his booth in Kirby
Shaw!'s capable hands. 

(Digression time: Kirby! showed me some sketches he did that were
quite fun. I'm now sorry that I didn't offer to buy them from
him! I guess the young Shaw! spawn is about 12 years old, and
with his father's capable guidance I'm sure he will grow into a
first rate cartoonist like his dad!)

Gary, Steve and I guided Sergio up to the panel (In his typical
meandering manner, stopping to meet and greet on the way). More
than one Groo Panel-goer fell in line with us - were any of you
out there one of them? There was something about an escort of 3
Orange-Clad Groopies and Sergio that evoked the image of a
bizarro cross between the Secret Service and Oompah-loompahs. I
dubbed us the GROOmpah-Loompahs!)

A Groo panel - ANY Groo Panel -  has to be experienced firsthand.
The joy, the reverence, the camaraderie, the raw FUN, ya'll gotta
come next year, every one of you, lurkers and posters!!! Anyway,
where was I? Sergio makes his grand entrance, Mark is again
shocked that Sergio is on time (and even gets there before Tom
Luth! When was Sergio NOT the last panelist present!!!?) 

Announcements include that another Groo publisher has been done
in by the Curse of Groo (Dark Horse's trade paperback Printer
went under, sadly), but the good news is that DH's NEW printer is
eager to put out more books, so they intend to publish the
collections more frequently. Also, some storylines will be
printed as graphic novels and not included in the alphabetical
run, such as Wager of the Gods. 

Also, as reported elsewhere, DH will collect The Mighty Magnor in
trade paperback and the Groo Crew will follow with the long
awaited Magnor sequel (Yippee)! 

As always, someone asked about a Groo Cartoon, and the answer is
they would LOVE to do one, and there HAVE been attempts made, but
that  the process always seems to hit a snag somewhere along the
line. I remember from previous panels and M.E. posts that one of
the hurdles is that The Groo Crew insists on doing it right with
complete creator control, something most backers are reluctant to
give.  I'm sure the Groop will unanimously agree that IF there is
ever to be a Groo cartoon, it must be done 100% right, with
Sergio and Mark's signature all over it, or else not at all! 

So, when the time seemed right Carolyn gave Gary a sign, and Gary
gave me a sign, and we got up and walked to the back of the room.
Now, I'm sure the Groo Crew couldn't help but notice what
appeared to be GARY LEAVING ("This-this cannot be!"), and at some
point while Gary and I were puttering around in the back of the
room, Mark asked Gary a Gary-type question, something like "how
many Groo #1' s" have there been? Gary answered correctly
(whatever the number was), after asking "including International
editions?" 

At this point Mark either 
a) noticed for the first time that we were up to something or 
b) exercised impeccable comedic timing by playing the straight
man after waiting until  just the right moment to wonder aloud
what he had been wondering all along, and that is: 

"Okay, why am I worried that Gary Grossmann is up to no good at
the back of the room?" (or words to that effect). 

At which time Gary finished removing the giant Birthday Card from
the box, I grabbed the two bins of Mulch Bars and we marched up
front and took over the fray! While Gary unveiled the card, I
passed Mulch Bars up to Mark, Stan, Tom and Sergio. I originally
was going to put a bin of MB's on each side of the room, but then
figured it was probably more fun to play waiter and actually
distribute them, instead of making everyone come up and get them!

CAROLYN!!! THEY WERE DELICIOUS!!! 

Another quick digression, this time to brag. In a year and a
half, I've lost 69 lbs, mostly by doing without sugar and carbs
and exercising. I had been VERY good during the con, but planned
from the start of the convention to CHEAT on my diet with one of
Carolyn's fabulous MULCH BARS. That was the first sweets I had
cheated with in a month and a half, AND IT WAS AMBROSIA!!!
YUMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!! Thanks again Carolyn, they were awesome!!!

I'll wrap it up here, although I've got plenty more to say about
the fun times still to come at the con, the only other stuff
involving The Groop was hanging some more with various Groopies
and enjoying every minute of the Con. The Masquerade was a hoot,
but the two previous years were better. Sunday I strolled the
floor, got some more sketches, made arrangements to buy some
original NIGHTWING art (BAD LARRY!!!), and had a great talk with
the same John Lustig that Gary just mentioned he sat behind and
chatted up on the plane back to Washington State. 

I'll also plug John Lustig's hysterical LAST KISS comic here for
2 reasons!

1) Scott Hudlow introduced me to John, and he's a super nice guy.
His shtick -  aside from his REAL JOB as a Disney writer - is
that he bought the rights to a ton of CHARLESTON ROMANCE COMICS
from the 50's (some or all ???) of which were titled LAST KISS.
He then keeps the original artwork but rescripts them into
hilarious and PG-13 deviant stories rife with sarcasm and comic
book fanboy references. IT'S DAMNED FUNNY!!!

2) I won a contest at the con, so he's going to work me into an
issue of LAST KISS that is due on the stands sometime in January,
so PLUG, PLUG!!!

BYE ALL!!! SEE  YA NEXT YEAR!!!


=====
-Larry Steller

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