[Groop][Fwd: [Fwd: world economics]] jokes... 2 cows
Azamin
azamin7@pd.jaring.my
Thu, 27 Jun 2002 10:05:03 +0800
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Date: Wed, 26 Jun 2002 17:33:54 +0800
From: Aimy Bazura Mohamed <aimy@medical-online.net>
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Subject: [Fwd: world economics]
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I had a good laugh when I read this... thought you all can do with some
cheering up....
Regards,
aimy
muhammad.sharifuddin@citicorp.com wrote:
> Dear all,
> A lesson in economics.
>
> TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM:
> You have two cows.
> You sell one and buy a bull.
> Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
> You sell them and retire on the income.
>
> AMERICAN CAPITALISM:
> You have two cows.
> You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters
> of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a
> debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all
> four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows. The milk rights of
> the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island
> company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights
> to all seven cows back to your listed company. The annual report says
> the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more. Sell one cow
> to buy a new president of the United States, leaving you with nine
> cows. No balance sheet provided with the release. The public buys
> your bull.
>
> AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION:
> You have two cows.
> You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.
> You are surprised when the cow drops dead.
>
> A FRENCH CORPORATION:
> You have two cows.
> You go on strike because you want three cows.
>
> A JAPANESE CORPORATION:
> You have two cows.
> You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow
> and produce twenty times the milk.
> You then create clever cow cartoon images called Cowkimon and market
> them worldwide.
>
> A GERMAN CORPORATION:
> You have two cows.
> You reengineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and
> milk themselves.
>
> A BRITISH CORPORATION:
> You have two cows.
> Both are mad.
>
> AN ITALIAN CORPORATION:
> You have two cows, but you don't know where they are.
> You break for lunch.
>
> A RUSSIAN CORPORATION:
> You have two cows.
> You count them and learn you have five cows.
> You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
> You count them again and learn you have 12 cows.
> You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.
>
> A SWISS CORPORATION:
> You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you.
> You charge others for storing them.
>
> A CHINESE CORPORATION:
> You have two cows.
> You have 300 people milking them.
> You claim full employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest the
> newsman who reported the numbers.
>
> A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION:
> You have two cows.
> That one on the left is kinda cute.
>
> Regards,
>
> Md Sharifuddin
> Equity Risk Management
> &603-383-3289
> 2 603-2715-3000
>
> _______________________________________________________
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