[Groop]Groo-ish Tales (OT)

[Larry Steller]

Add me to the list of comic book fans who also
LO-O-OVE baseball but can't play worth a damn. I like
to joke that I have a natural curve ball - I can't
throw straight! 

Anyway, I wasn't small but was always inept and
clumsy, and was always last or second to last picked
for baseball/softball. In High School we started
playing coed softball in gym class, and I was no
longer last picked because many of the girls had no
interst or talent for the game, but there were still
plenty of girls picked before me!

In addition to not being able to throw, hit or catch,
I was always ball-shy, meaning I flinch. I remember
being at a Yankees game in high school, I brought my
glove with me, and there was a foul pop-up RIGHT TO
ME, no one around me, all mine. I flinched away at the
last second, it bounced on the seat next to me and
rolled away for a more deserving fan to easily pick
up.

Last year I took a date to a Yankees game, and was
complaining that in ALL of my trips to The Stadium, I
have never gone home with a foul ball, although I
screwed up a few chances. I was sitting in the front
row of the upper deck, in line with the Yankees
on-deck circle - prime foul ball territory! Chuck
Knobloch hit a line drive foul ball STRAIGHT TO ME, i
had the prsence of mind to say to myself over and over
"I WILL NOT FLINCH I WILL NOT FLINCH..."

I flinched.

The ball hit the seat right next to me and I reached
down and picked it up. 

I said to the guy next to me. This is great, but I
wish I didn't flinch and had caught it outright. This
studly, athletic-looking fan said to me "Man, if you
had tried to barehand that you would have broken your
hand. You did the right thing to get out of the way."

So you see, fear is a useful defense mechanism,
damnit!!!

I considered giving the ball to my date, I felt I
SHOULD give the ball to my date, and decided that this
was a once-in-a-lifetime thing for me and I would keep
the ball myself. As we were heading home, I tried to
make plans for the following night, but she said "Oh,
I can't tomorrow night, I'm going to a baby shower for
my BOYFRIEND'S sister..."

Boy, am I glad I didn't give her the baseball!

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-Larry "Mr. Grooism" Steller

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