[Groop] I Grooed-Adventures in Home Improvement

Magnus Lindgren magnus at netrosys.com
Wed Apr 21 02:24:38 PDT 2010


Nice story Gary!

Cut the red wire. Take the blue pill. I learned this from TV. If there 
is no red wire, paint one.

Hope this helps!

/Magnus who still have a happy smile on his face since San Diego Comic 
Con :)

Gary Grossmann skrev:
>  
>
> Groo Changes a Light Fixture (or How to Turn a 30 Minute Job into a 4 
> Hour Job)
>
>  
>
> One day Groo decides to change a ceiling light fixture.  Shockingly 
> (No pun intended. Well, maybe a little.), he remembers to turn off the 
> power to the room.  He then takes off the old fixture, which has one 
> white wire and one black wire.  “I am a good ceiling light fixture 
> changer, Rufferto. I will attach the ceiling white wire to the fixture 
> white wire and the do the same with the black wires, just as I have 
> done in the past.”  But Groo is soon confused.  His new light fixture 
> has two white wires and two black wires.  And Groo sees many wires up 
> in the little box in the ceiling.  There are three black wires and 
> three white wires and one of the white wires is attached to two of the 
> black wires and it is all very strange to Groo.   (Rufferto thought 
> bubble: “Groo, why don’t you forget about those other wires and just 
> attach the two white wires from the new fixture onto the one white 
> wire from the ceiling that the old fixture was attached to and do the 
> same with the black wires.”)  But Groo says “I do not want to make a 
> mistake.  I will separate all of the wires from each other and then 
> figure which ones go to the new fixture.” 
>
>  
>
> Now, of course, Groo is even more hopelessly confused and has no idea 
> which wire goes where.  He tries to remember how they were hooked 
> together before, but when he turns on the power, only half the lights 
> on the circuit come on and the ceiling fixture will not turn off!   So 
> he goes to the hardware store closest to his house and asks the grumpy 
> man on duty: “Hey, you hardware store employee person, what should I 
> do …” and then explains the situation.  The grumpy man tells him to 
> put all five white wires together and all five black wires together.  
> This sounds strange even to Groo, but the grumpy man is a hardware 
> store employee…Fortunately, the house Groo is in has breakers and not 
> fuses so there is no harm done when Groo tries to turn the power on 
> after doing what the grumpy man suggested. 
>
>  
>
> I must now alter the narrative somewhat.  Because if this was really 
> Groo, the house would have burned down by now and Groo would have 
> either pummeled the grumpy man (on purpose) or burned down his 
> hardware store (accidently) or both.  But to paraphrase that great 
> line from “The Princess Bride” unlike Groo, who is completely stupid, 
> I am only */mostly/* stupid.  I went to Home Depot and was directed to 
> Master Electrician Bill, who told me everything I needed to know to 
> connect the wires properly while not electrocuting myself or burning 
> my house down.   So, fortunately, no harm was done other than wasting 
> an entire afternoon.  The End. 
>
>  
>
> Moral:  Just because a lot of */your /*wires are disconnected, doesn’t 
> mean you should disconnect all of the wires in a light fixture box. 
>
>  
>
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