[Dynagroove] Tempo...... ?

[Jennie Pike]

Tempo -- their claim: “House, funk, hip hop, rare grooves, but mostly just deep dirty house.”  There was no funk, no hip hop, and no rare groove.  All I heard was a bit of alternative when I first walked in (Not that I don’t love the Clash, but I don’t go to hip hop/ house clubs to hear the Clash, nawmsayin?), and house which could not be described as deep or dirty…. mediocre is a much more fitting word for it.  Had I not been so drunk, I would have left after hearing the Destiny’s Child remix.  *shudder*

 

The music was a notch above Top 40, the drinks were terrible, but there was one thing that saved my night*:  The crowd:  A sea of Britney Spears look-a-likes complete with fake tans and fake nails and an inch of make up.  Okay, this is a personal pet peeve, but WHY ON EARTH would you wear high heels to go dancing?!?  And why was every girl in this joint wearing them?  I just don’t get it.  That’s probably why I saw about 3 girls on the dance floor over the course of the night..... Oopsie, I forgot.  Sweating also makes your make up run.  Can't let all that time invested go to waste.

 

The guys were Volcom-wearing, truck-driving muscle heads.  Every time I left my boyfriend’s side, even if only for a second, there was one of these testosterone-oozing fellows right there to tell me, (in Matthew McConaughey voice from Dazed and Confused) “I love those red-heads.”  Yeah, really clever dude.

 

Anyway, if you’re into meat markets, this is the place to be.  If you give a shit about music, avoid Tempo!  It’s not worth the $2 cover.

 

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*blatant sarcasm



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