[Dynagroove] Re: One more thing I hate about house the scene

[BadIYE at aol.com]

13.  Not enough Polka music...
 
=)
 
Imad
housesaladla.com
the GOOD life
 
In a message dated 5/27/2005 4:29:19 PM Pacific Standard Time,  
con at dynagroove.com writes:

thought  I would start some shit.  Here are the top 11 things I hate about 
the  house music scene......  This is supposed to be funny so  relax

Number 11:  All the girls go crazy for any vocal.  I  like a vocal.. But I
like some chunky funky shit.  But every house  girl seems to drop her
panties for the all vocal set or the all vocal  DJ.  So annoying.. The music
does not need a vocal.. Sometimes it is  good.  But it is the whole package
that makes us dance right?   Sometimes I think of the sample or the
instrument as a vocal.  Don't  believe me?  Look at how many vocals Heather, 
Mark Farina, and Diz  play.. Not that many.... Besides it is easy to bust out 
the all vocal  set.

Number 10:  Everyone is a DJ.   No matter what  party you go to 40% of the 
crowd 
is a DJ and they have no problems telling  you over and over again. Often 
times 
lying about where they are from and  who they have played for and with.

Number 9:  Everyone is a  promoter.  Every night someone walks up to me and 
tells me how they  are going to do this party and how they have the hook up 
for 
Derrick  Carter.  Oh and they want me to play along with <list 15 other 
locals  
here>

Number 8:  Classic songs that even sucked back  then.  It sucked back then it 
sucks now.  retire that  record...  retire it...  Good examples "Funk 
Phenomena" 
and  "Ex.... Ex..... Ex... Travaganza"

Number 7: Songs that sing about  "house music."  In the beggining there was 
jack..  And I could  give jack shit.  and I could care less if not everyone 
understood  house music or house music will never dye.. or if that girl is 
going 
to  house me.  I thought it was annoying when the rocks bands sang about Rock 
 
and Roll...  Now it is just as annoying when sum unknown deevah  screams 
about 
house music.

Number 6:  Worshiping a bad dj just  because he made a hit or two back in the 
day.   I mean come on  he was make sick shit in 88 - 95 now he just does not 
have it  anymore.  Maybe he found god maybe he does not enjoy his job anymore 
(A  
wicked famous SF DJ) but the guy just plane sucks now.  But noooo we  have to 
clap even louder for his train-wrecks and technically ill  mixing..

Number 5:  People who thin I get rich of my  parties.  I mean come on do you 
have any idea how much it costs to  throw a party?  And I am bring two out of 
town guests in and you  think $20 is absurd?  Hell I know local only line ups 
that you fewl  are happy to pay $30 for.  I think on average after all my 
parties I  maybe be maybe 8% profit.  You think I am greedy?  You throw a 
party  
and learn your lessons *wink*

Number 4:  The people who stand  around the dance floor with their beer in 
there 
hand sneering.  I am  sorry did mommy make you come out tonight?  Are you 
hating  
life?  House music is a dance music.  Move dat as fucker.   Stop leering, 
stop 
lurking, and remember how to have a good time.   Stop trainspotting and 
remember 
to have fun.  You can still look at  the girls even when you are dancing.

Number 3:  Girl DJs that get  booked on their looks rather then talent. They 
say 
you got it you mind as  well use it.  I can't fault them for doing it.  But 
it 
annoys me  anyway.   Honey you suck!  Your only getting booked because of  
two 
reasons A)  The promoter is or wants to hump you or B) The  promoter wants 
the 
guys in the crowd to want to hump you.  Learn how  to match a beat and pull a 
record your boyfriend didn't choose for  you.

Number 2:  DJs that need to announce to you that they can  "rock the crowd" 
better then the current DJ.  So there I am at my  club.  I have booked some 
pretty decent local talent and I am  enjoying their music.  Some fucking 
numbskull from some crew then  says "Yo man why are you booking these guys?  
We 
can rock the crowd  much better then them."  Uhh A) No you can't and B) Get 
your 
rude ass  self out of my face.

And the NUMBER 1 thing I hate about the house  scene!!!!!!!!


NUMBER 1:  DJS that play the same set over and  over again.  A DJ hands me a 
CD 
and two weeks later I hear him  playing the same shit out.  A year later I 
hear 
him play a large  chunk of it again.  WTF?  Do you have no innovation? Your 
the  
same guy who writes down on a piece of paper the pitch setting for you  
planned 
set.  Yeah I know who you guys are I spot you from a mile  away.  Having 
problems following another DJ?  Have to bring the  pitch up or down so you 
are 
in your comfort zone?  HA!  You not  a DJ your a walking CD player.   Stop 
planning your sets and get  out there and feel the crowd.



Oh man that was fun..  And  yes it is supposed to be funny.. So enjoy it and 
don't get mad or I will  have to ad a number 12: House heads are too damn 
serious!   *wink*

Cade