[Groop]The Perfect Grooism
Tue, 26 Jun 2001 18:42:36 -0700 (PDT)
Over the years I have shared a half-dozen or so
Grooisms that I have committed with the Groop, but the
best one is one I was not directly involved in, rather
it's a conversation I overheard last weekend on line
at the airport.
This, my friends, is really GROO level stupid.
My flight was delayed for about 3 hours, plus I had
arrived waaaay early at the airport, so I finally
caved and went to raid the snack bar.
While on line, a twenty-something girl in back of me
was complaining to the guy who was with her that this
snack bar was very inefficient. She prided herself on
being an efficiency expert, a talent she learned from
her father, who is the most efficient person she
knows. Her example?
THE GIRL: "My father taught me that the most efficient
way of changing lanes while driving is to only change
lanes on a curve..."
LARRY: (insert thought-balloon here) WHAT!!!? She
can't be serious! Efficient? What does she save, like,
half an inch and a millisecond's time!!!? Keep your
mouth shut, Larry...
THE GIRL: "...so whenever I'm driving anywhere, I
always make sure I wait until I get to a curve to
LARRY: (more thought-balloon) So she doesn't change
lanes when she has a clear line of sight, but waits
until a curve when her blind spots increase!? THAT'S
DANGEROUS!!! Keep your mouth shut, Larry...
THE GIRL: ...Although, the ONE TIME I was ever in a
LARRY: (still more thought-balloon) Don't tell me...
THE GIRL: ...was when I hit a car I couldn't see while
changing lanes on a curve. I woke up in the hospital
with a concussion.
LARRY: *heavy sigh* Keep your mouth shut, Larry...
Dangerously stupid? Blithely doing what she does best,
only to cause damage and injury? Not learning any
lesson whatsoever from the carnage? If she's not The
Bride of Groo, I don't know who is!!!
Moral: Beware efficiency experts, their attempts to
make life easier only serve to make things worse!
Larry Steller AKA The Sheik Of Entropy
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