[Groop]Fwd: religious laws

[Andrew Iyer]

Hey, these religeous debates are important and all, but you guys have to 
lighten up! That said, the fillowing e-mail contains views that are in   no 
way endorsed by the editor of this letter.

PS Anyone know if this Dr Laura whatsis really exists? I am an  Aussie so 
have no idea who she is!

:

Dr Laura Schlessinger is a US radio personality who
dispenses advice to people who call in to her radio show. Recently, she said 
that homosexuality is an abomination according to Leviticus 18:22 and cannot 
be condoned in any circumstance. The following is an open letter to Dr. 
Laura penned by a US resident and also posted on the Internet.
      Dear Dr. Laura:
Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I
have learned a great deal from your show, and I try to share that
knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the 
homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus
18:22
clearly states it to be an abomination. End of debate.

I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some of
the specific laws and how to follow them.

a) When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it
creates a pleasing odour for the Lord (Lev. 1:9). The problem is my
neighbours. They claim the odour is not pleasing to them. Should I smite 
them?

b) I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as
sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a 
fair price for her?

c) I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while
she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness (Lev.15:19-24). The
problem is, how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offence.

d) Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both
male and female, provided they are purchased from neighbouring
nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not
Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?

e) I have a neighbour who insists on working on the Sabbath.
Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally
obligated to kill him myself ?

f) A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish
is an abomination (Lev. 11:10), it is a lesser abomination than
homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this?

g) Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I
have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading
glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here?

h) Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including
the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly
forbidden by Lev.19:27. How should they die?

i) I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead
pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

j) My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev. 19:19 by planting  two
different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made 
of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also
tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all 
the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them?
(Lev.24:10-16) Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family 
affair like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws?
(Lev. 20:14)

I know you have studied these things extensively, so I am confident you
can help.
  Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and 
unchanging.
Your devoted disciple and adoring fan.

:

I hope this clears up that whole Amina Olewhashawinni thing for you guys!

Cheers
Andrew

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